A horrible experience can change a person
by CandyFlower89
Summary: He hurt her. She moves on never forgetting. She meets someone who is perfect for her. But that small fear deep in her bones will not let her be free from what happened. Not until she faces her fear.
1. Chapter 1

Set in New Moon

* * *

CHAPTER 1

" If I _ever _get the change. I will make him _pay _for what he has done"With tear running down my cheeks. I picked my self off the forest's muddy ground. My muscles ached making me wish I hadn't moved. The scratches that are all over my body just made moving worse. I looked around for my clothe more than happy that they were only two feet away. Putting on my clothe was a task far to difficult than it should have been.

Twenty minutes later I started walking towards the direction I hoped my house was in. I'm lucky there was still sunlight out. Still i have to make the best of the three hours of sun that I have left. I don't have time to sit around if I have to come back and try another direction.

An hour later I still couldn't recognize or see my house. My tears had run out thirty minutes ago. I stopped and leaned against a tree. It was all I could do to rest at the bottom of a medium sized hill. I wouldn't be able to get up if I sat down. I was starting to feel dizzy. As I looked down at my clothe grateful that they weren't torn I could see the blood was seeping through but it wasn't much.

Few minutes later I started moving up the hill. I was tired my muscles are on fire. My skin irritated from the clothe moving against every scratch he did to me. None were from the forest I was laying in less than two hours ago. I'm glad I still have over an hour of daylight but I don't think I'll have that much time left before I can't move anymore.

It should have taken maybe two minutes but it took me five minutes later to get near the top. If I can't see anything after looking around up there I am going to have to try another direction. If this isn't the right path there's no way I can survive out here.

Once I got to the top I fell to my hands and knees. I could feel my clothe getting wet from the blood and now sweat. Breathing wasn't easy by this point. I got my hands off the ground and stayed on my knees to look around. There, about 50 yards away passed all the trees and bushes I could see it. My house. If I would of gone the way he left I would not have survived having to walk back and tried another way. I realize now. Instead of flashing away b4 my eyes. He took the time to walk away a few feet looking back to make sure I was looking the way he went then disappeared. It was it the opposite direction.

" That bastard like I would ever follow him. After he showed me who he really was." Breathing got a little easier. I stood up on shaky legs using the tree as help. Anger, determination and hope are the only things making my limbs move as I start walking towards the house. I can see it. Ill be able to reach it before night fall.

Getting closer to the house I had to stop often to catch my breath. The closer I got the more determined I was to get there to survive this. I will not let him be the end of me. A few feet away from the tree line that separates my back yard and the forest I stopped.

"I made it." The sky is getting dark. I start moving across the yard. Wondering if it's a good thing or bad thing that Charlie is on double shift today and wont be back till morning. I decide good. It's betters that he will not know. Safer for him.

I opened my back door and entered my kitchen. I just stood there after closing the door. My keys still on the table next to my backpack. Dirty dishes from my breakfast still in the sink. Looking around it's all as it was before I left nothing change and why should it. Just because I have doesn't mean the world will change with me.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

"Finally" I Peeled off my clothes caked in mud and blood. Stepped in the very hot shower. It hurt. It really, really hurt but I needed to get cleaned to see the damage better. I washed my hair. Took out all the twigs, dirt even pebbles. My arm muscles tired even more but I still have to clean all the grime off my body. This part isn't going to be easy with all the scratches.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It stings!" all I can do is stand under the shower and let the hot water remove all the body wash. I looked down the suds were only at my feet now. I stepped back away from the water. Hesitating I looked down at my body.

"That psychopath… He… He…" I couldn't stand it. I fell to my knees. My legs far too tired to even attempt to get up again. I was too tired the shock I was apparently in wore off. Silent tear. That all I had the energy for. No sob or sniffle just silent tears.

I'm now a hundred percent sure of what he wanted after he left. Tears still running without a sound. The water was the only noise in the house. I looked down at my body once again. I didn't even notice when I looked away. I'm no doctor but after all the accidents I've had. I know where the major arteries are. I should have died of major blood loss. Now I know y I still live. He sealed the cuts that were the deepest and fatal. He didn't want me to have an easy death. Its just that now I know to what extent. There, from what I could see, on my inner thighs, wrist, stomach, are a few perfectly venom-sealed cuts.

"No. no no. no no no. NOOO!" I didn't want a _physical _reminder for the rest of my life. I wouldn't be able to ignore it. I'll have to be aware off them. Make sure no one saw them. I cant even pretend to myself that I was ok. Will never be able to tell myself that It was just a nightmare. An awful, unbelievable nightmare.

I shut the water off. Stepped out and grabbed the first aid kit under the sink. I dried my self carefully. Bandaged my cuts. Yeah I was wrong. They weren't scratches no where near that. These cuts are meant to bleed.

With a towel wrapped around me. No clean clothe to change into. I put up the aid kit. Grabbed my dirty clothes and walked down stairs. Clean clothe come later first I have to get rid of these. As I walk passed the kitchen I grab the lighter fluid and match. I walk outside. The black night is cold but I don't notice it really. I throw the clothe on the dirt ground. Splash the lighter fluid over every inch of the clothe. I step a few feet back and light it. It quickly turns to ash. I head back inside to my room. The wind will take the ashes away if not the rain will wash it away by sunrise.

Some of the cuts have started to bleed thru from walking on the stairs. I've been walking in a blur. I close my door after I enter my room. I lean down in my drawer to get a pair of loose pajama pants and long sleeve top. That's when I notice the tears. The soundless tears have not stopped. I changed grateful to the bandages that protect the cuts from the clothe. I slipped under my purple cover and then… I sobbed. Cried. Screamed.

I sobbed because I am still alive. Happy that I am given a second chance.

I cried for what my new life will be like. Not the same. Never the same again.

I screamed for what he did. Furious at him. Scared of him at the same time.

Tonight. Only tonight will I allow this.

Tonight I break.

Tonight the tears will not stop.

Tonight is the night I change.

Tomorrow will be better.

Tomorrow I will not break.

Tomorrow the tears will stop.

Tomorrow brings the new me.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

" First things first. Painkillers." I turned my head to look at my clock and notice it is ten thirty. Charlie is back by now. He got off at five in the morning so he'll be asleep till around twelve. I sat up noticed even more that I _really _need that medicine. I grabbed another set of loose pajamas and headed to the bathroom. Usually I'd be up and dressed by now. I need to rest and be able to move with out anyone questioning me if I'm ok on Monday. Since I'm going to need to fake being sick for a day and a half it wont seem strange to be in pajamas when Charlie wakes up.

After my shower the medicine started taking affect. I bandaged my wounds again and got dressed. I threw the bloody ones away. I added my old pajamas to the trash can as well. They were spots off blood on them I couldn't risk Charlie seeing them. I closed the bag and went down stairs. My muscles now have a dull ache thanks to the Tylenol. I take the trash outside to the big thrash can. I step back inside the house and take in the fact that I don't feel like fainting at the site of blood. I can still smell it but it doesn't have that same affect on me. I grab a bottle water from the fridge and go back upstairs to my room before he wakes up.

" Ok. I need to come up with something to keep me in bed for the rest of the weekend." This would be easier if I was use to lying. Something simple. Whatever I say he wont question me.

"I got it" Good now that is solved. I snuggle deeper in my cover and go back to sleep. When he wakes up and sees that I'm not up already it'll be one less thing to fake.

* * *

*knock, knock*

"Bella…Hey, Bella."

"Yeah?" My voice sounds hoarse from last night. This works for me. I'll be more believable.

"Are you alright? You don't sound so good." Charlie asked as he opened my bedroom door. You can tell he is worried by his voice. He looks a little nervous. Not sure how to help his daughter but wanting to do something.

"Just caught a small cold. I'll be fine in a few days. I'm just going to sleep it off." I continued telling him I already took some cold medicine. That I'm going to sleep some more and eat when I woke up.

"Alright. I'm going to go get lunch at the diner. On the way home I'll get you some throat spray just incase u need it."

"Thanks Dad" He smiled and looked little more relaxed. I didn't want him to be worried about me. He left still smiling. He definitely noticed I didn't correct myself at all. I went back to sleep. Seeping this off sounds like a great idea.

I woke up a few hours later. I didn't hear the TV as I walked to the bathroom meaning Charlie probably wasn't home. I replaced the bandages. It's a good thing my pajamas didn't have blood this time just the old bandages. Through the dirty bandages away and added some clean toilet paper in the trash can to cover them.

I got to the bottom of the stairs and started walking to the kitchen. I don't feel like making something to eat but I know I have to eat something. I stepped closer to the kitchen table when I noticed two bags there and a note.

_Bella,_

_I didn't want to wake you._

_If you need anything I'm at the Black's house. _

_I got you some soup from the diner. _

_I didn't think you'd want something heavy to eat._

_That way you don't have to cook. _

_There's also some throat spray from the pharmacy if you need it._

_Charlie._

That's how my weekend went. I stayed in bed most of the time. Charlie and I ate take out. He always made sure I to get me something light. Which I was grateful for. The cuts are still healing but have stopped bleeding. Next, school.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

I woke up after hitting the snooze button twice. Got dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, my converse and of course my hoodie. The scars that are already healed didn't leave any scars thanks to the salve I applied every time I cleaned them and how perfectly they were cut. I've got only three more that are still pink. One on my forearm, back of my thigh, and were my shoulder meets my neck. I don't think anyone will notice unless they concentrate there. My throat is better just not hundred percent. I grabbed my keys and backpack on the way out.

* * *

"Looks like I'm early. Huh, how did I manage that?" I parked in front of the school like always. Like nothing happened. I put my headphones on and waited till more kids arrived. I don't have to worry about Edward or his family being here today. His family left I'm sure. Alice didn't call or go by the house like usual. I'm sure her and Edward think I'm dead. They have no reason to look back. Leaving me in the woods with my sense of direction and clumsiness. There's no way I should have survived that but I did. I will make the most of this second chance. Starting with getting my life back. I put my friends and my life on hold for him.

*tap, tap*

I look open my eyes and look at my window. I get my stuff and get off my truck.

"Hey Bella. What are you doing?" asked Angela.

"Got here kinda early so was just waiting in my truck." She looked like she was looking for someone.

"Oh. You want to hang out with us while your wait? We're all by Tyler's van." I see, she thinks I'm waiting for Edward. She has no reason to think other wise.

"Yeah, I'd like that." She smiled and we started walking towards the van. It's only a few cars down from mine.

"Hey Bella! Omg it's good to see you! Where's Edward? You two are like never far from each other." Is that jealousy I hear in Jessica's voice? This girl doesn't know how lucky she is that Edward didn't pay attention to her.

"He moved actually. He wanted me to follow him but I didn't want to. He tried to pressure me in to moving with him so I broke up with him." Ok so half truth are easier than full blown lies.

"Oh no, Bella are you ok? I'm totally here for you if you feel like crying." She said that a little too loud but that's Jess. She loves attention and likes looking like a nice girl. Making it seem like its my loss is also who she is.

"Go Bella. Us girl gotta stand up for our self's."

"Thanks Angela." I smile. She's shy but she knows what she's saying.

"Yeah Bella way to get rid off him" Mike grins. Crap. I forgot about that. Jess lost a little of her pep with that comment. She forcing a smile. I kind of feel bad for her now.

"Hey Jess, Angela. You girls wanna come with me on Wednesday after school to Port Angeles? I lost my cell phone." More like he literally crushed it to dust. "I want to go look at some phones."

"Yeah Bella that'll be great." Angela likes the plan.

"We can also go to eat after words and talk just us girls." Jess cant wait to hear the detail that I wont be telling anyone. She can make up the in between all by herself.

*riiiiIIIIiiiing*

"School bell." Mike states the obvious.

"Yeah, we should start heading inside." Says Ben while grabbing his back pack of the van. Tyler closes his van and we start moving to our first class. Jess and I start heading to our first period class.

"Hey Ladies, why don't I walk you to class?" Jess immediately agrees. Mike starts walking to my side. Damn, quick what do I do? I don't want Jess to completely hate me. Over all she's an ok friend.

"Jess. You and Mike go ahead with out me. I need to go to the front office before class." She grabs his arm and pulls him with her the rest of the way.

"I'll see you in English Bella." She yells over her shoulder. I don't even have to pretend to walk away to the office she's already went around the corner. All I have to do is walk slowly which is fine by me.

I got to class before the bell rang. I walk in and everyone turns to look at me as I go sit next to Jessica in my assigned seat. Yup. Everyone in class knows about the break up and by the end of second period the whole school will know. It's going to be the talk of the school. _Bella Swan broke up with Edward Cullen. Do you think it's the true story? _Is what I'll most likely be hearing getting whispered around for a while. Jessica smiles like she didn't just tell the whole class. She opens her mouth to speak but the teacher walks in.

Mr. Mason takes attendance. When he asks if anyone seen Edward Jessica stands up and tells him that Edward has moved. Just then a student helper walks in with a slip for the teacher.

"Ah yes. It looks like Edward wont be attending the rest of school here." He says. Then starts class.

In Government I see Edward's empty seat next to mine. It gives me chills. I thought he was just trying to read my mind with that look of concentration he had on his face. I was wrong. Mike was right. He wanted to eat me.

During third and forth period Jessica tried to get more out of me. I gave evasive answers and she got the hit by the end of forth period. Except.

"Alright Bella I get it. You don't wanna talk about it here. We'll talk more on Wednesday." She whispers.

"Come on lets head to lunch." I don't wait and head out the door. We get to lunch grab our trays and Angela waves us down. Lunch feels different in a good way. I don't feel awkward when I eat. I'm not the only one eating. I relax eat and join in on the conversation.

During Biology II I try not to think about the what ifs. If I would of pricked my finger for the blood typing lab before I left to the nurses office. Edward was out there. Would he have taking me to the woods then instead of home?

In Gym I kept my clothe on saying I forgot my gym clothe and sat down for the class. No problem there today.

* * *

Over all today wasn't so bad. The whispers and stares were nothing new. They were like my first day here. The _Hey Bella I heard what happen. Are you ok? _question was only asked a few times.

The only thing is. My anger toward him grew. I noticed how much of my time he really took over. The decisions he made for me. Well, Alice and him really. What to wear. When to be somewhere. Disapproving looks from him when he didn't like how I behaved sometimes or how I spoke. I wish I could've seen thru all the glitter. To be able to see the fake smiles and rehearsed lines. My independence is one thing I will never let go of again.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

We're talking about which phones to get. After a couple of stores they decided to get one too. Everything so far wasn't so bad. I did notice myself moving away from other guys. Angela seemed to notice but didn't ask questions. I'm assuming she just thought I wasn't interested so soon after my recent 'break up'. Jessica was the one right next to them so she didn't notice a thing. She hasn't even started asking for details. Maybe she'll forget.

"So Bella, Come on start talking while the waiter gets our food." Spoke too soon.

" Really Jess there's nothing to say. We just decided to go our separate ways. No drama"

"Well Edward would have eventually… left anyways. Don't worry Bella I'm sure there's a guy out there for you. If you want I can help you find another one. I know this guy that I use to dat-…"

"Angela how are things going so far for you with Ben? " I interrupted. Jessica didn't seem happy but jumped right in anyways.

"Yeah Ang, has he asked you out yet?"

"No. I tried dropping hints but I guess he's not interested or doesn't see me that way." She's sad.

Well just because life sucks now doesn't mean hers has too.

"What you need to do is ask him out yourself. Us being twenty-first century women and all." She smiled a little. " Ben may be smart but all guys have a blind spot. Maybe subtle hints are his." She looks like she feels better.

"Lets go shopping for a new outfit that he can't turn away from." Jessica suggested. Which doesn't sound to bad.

"Here's your food lady's" Said the waiter with a tired smile.

By the end of the day Angela decided to ask Ben out. Jessica seemed uninterested in what happened once she found out there was no drama and me not budging after asking few times.

* * *

Several weeks passed the talk of the Cullen's moving lasted about another week after that. They eventually moved on to the next small town gossip. Angela did ask Ben out and now they are a couple. After several more rejections and the 'I just want to be friends' speech to Mike he finally stopped chasing me. He decided to go out with Jessica again.

I stayed away from guys as much as I could without it being to obvious. When I couldn't I refused to flinch away and over react from the accidental shove in the hall or the tap on my shoulder to get my attention. They were innocent enough but I know it may not always be that way. I started taking self-defense and mixed martial arts classes. Charlie is happy about that and even thought me some things he learned.

I tried calling Jacob but he was either sick or busy. He seems distant I can't really blame him after the way I treated him. I want to apologize and make it up to him. I don't want to lose him as a friend. He has always been there for me. I won't give up on him like I did before.

*Knock, knock*

"Hey. Bella."

"Hi Billy. Is Jacob home?" Is it me or does he look a little nervous? Weird I should have been past the entry way. Wait I usually don't have to ask. I usually don't even get a _Hi Billy_ in before he moves aside so I can go in.

"Actually Bella, he's not here. He's out doing tribe business I don't know when he'll be back."

"Oh, ok. Then can u tell him I came by. Tell him to give me a call. I'll be back another time."

"Sure. Bye Bella."

Looks like he couldn't close the door fast enough. It's not like him at all. I'm getting a little worried. I'll come back tonight instead of another day. It's almost lunch time. I'll eat do some errands then come back after dinner so I can feed Charlie. It's Saturday so Charlie is off early today I'll ask him if he knows anything about Billy.

* * *

"Here you go Dad" I placed his lasagna on the kitchen table.

"Thanks Bells" I sat down and started eating my share. I couldn't wait till the end of the meal to ask. Instead half way through I asked.

"Hey, Dad. Do you know if there is something bad going on with Billy. He didn't seem himself today when I visited this morning?" Surprised. That's the only way to express his face now. I would have missed it if I hadn't been looking at his face when I asked. Not being much for emotions he covered it quickly.

"No Bella. He looks normal and he hasn't told me anything. I haven't seen much of Jake though. Which is the reason you went there I'm assuming."

"Yeah. He still hasn't called me back. Billy didn't look like himself today maybe it's because of Jake. He didn't even let me in the door today." Now he seems worried.

"Really? That's not like him at all. Maybe I should give him a call. Better yet why don't you visit Jacob tomorrow. Billy and I are going fishing since we didn't go today. I'll have a talk with him then see if Jacob is in any trouble and you can probably catch Jacob in the morning he may be there asleep if you get there right after we leave." Divide and conquer. Charlie's cop side shows. I smile at him.

"Thanks Dad. That's a great idea."

He ducks his head and mumbles no problem. Feeling better now that I have a better plan than barging in after dinner. We finish our dinner. While I do the dishes Charlie goes ahead and watches the rest of a game.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**3rdPOV**

Bella stands outside Jacob's house nervously running her fingers over the spare key in her hand. She knows Jacob is inside asleep. Charlie called her an hour ago letting her know Jacob just got there and was heading to his room to sleep.

"This way he won't have time to run." Her mind made up she unlocks the front door and steps inside. Looking around she sees no one and hears nothing. She makes her way to his room as quietly as she can.

The wolf within him stirs while Jacob continues sleeping. The wolf hears someone enter the house but senses no ill intent or evil coming from the female. The wolf ignores her and goes back to sleep. Too tired from his watch around forks to bother with a no threat situation. He settles back down to sleep without the need to wake up Jacob.

Bella opens his door and pauses. She sees Jacob eagle spread on a bed too small for him facing the opposite way. The other half of his room has mostly shorts and some shirt thrown everywhere. She remembers he never cared where his shirts landed after taking them off on a hot day. It makes her nostalgic. Wishing they could go back to the time when they were kids. No matter how mad they got any one another they always got over it. The one that did wrong apologized first. The other was always there to accept that apology no matter how long it took. Of course for kids it felt like forever when it was at the most only a few days.

_So, why wasn't he there? I may not have spent time with him like we both wanted to but I answered his calls and made some of my own. He never once hinted that he didn't want me around if anything he indicated the total opposite! _Upset, confused and angry at herself and him for letting it get this far. She grabs his massive shoe that's next to the door. Jacob turns his head facing her now with his eyes still closed asleep. She throws his shoe aiming at his back.

"What The Hell Jacob!?" The shoe hits his head instead. She may not trip anymore but she still can't throw.

Confused and alert to the now angry female. The wolf demands Jacob to phase. Jacob wasn't expecting anyone. He didn't recognize the voice right away so he decided to trust his wolf that was sensing the possible enemy. He phases taking up three-fourths of his small room. Bella shocked by the massive wolf stumbles back till she hit's the wall across his room and slides down. The wolf immediately smells her fear and doesn't attack. His snout a foot from the door way.

"I…"

_Bella! Shit. Shit. Shit. _Jacob screamed in his head. All that came out was a very dog like whine as he lowered his head to the ground in hope that it would ease her fear. It worked her heart still raced but the fear disappeared. She continued.

"I… I thought that part of the legend wasn't… real anymore." She whispered trying to process yet another mythical creatures' existence. Witch wasn't all that hard with this unquestionable proof. _This is going in my top five most dangerous things I've done in my life. _She thought after realizing that the huge wolf wasn't going to attack and that the wolf in question is her best friend.

"Jake?" The wolf's ears perked up but Jacob didn't more not wanting to scare her. She started to crawl to him. The wolf moved out of her reach backing in to the room. He wasn't sure if she would freak out if she finally realized this was real by touching him.

"I won't hurt you." She said softly. A noise comes from the wolf. To Bella it sounded very close to a snort. She smiled slightly realizing this great big wolf was just her great big fur ball of a friend.

"I also know you won't hurt me Jake." She reached him and touched the top of his head petting it.

Jacob figured Sam had seen enough thru the pack mind to let him go back to his patrol and they would talk later. Sam sprinted to Jacobs' house from his patrol route to help Bella. Once he reached the tree line to Jacob's house he heard what Bella said about the legend and paused. He heard Jacob telling him he'd deal with it. So he stayed at the tree line not phasing so he could know what was going on ready incase Jacob lost it. Since everything went better than they could ever expect he left and went back to his patrol while planning a pack meeting later.

Jacob phases back to his human form. Lying naked on the floor with Bella's hand still on his head. He looks up and reaching for her to give her a hug and let her know how much it meant to him that she didn't run away. The look of panic on her face made him pause. Bella's heart started pumping over time. She was starting to struggle to breathe as she looked around the room something even she didn't know. She spotted the sheets and sprinted to them. Grabbed them with both hands fisted and throws it at Jacob.

"Jake! Put some clothe on!" She yells still looking down at the bed eyes screwed shut. She is trying to calm her racing heart and sweaty palms. _I hate this! He's my best friend! He would never hurt me! _It's easier for her to be close to him as a wolf, not a man. Her hate for Edward increased for this. For putting this distance between Jacob and her. She didn't need this. She didn't want Jacob to find out at least not now. _Please ignore the panic I'm sure you saw on my face. _

Rustling of clothe and a warm laugh are the only things heard as Jacob covered himself up. He hears her sigh in relieve thinking nothing of it more than her discomfort of him being exposed.

"Come on Bells. It's not like we haven't bathe together before." His wolfish grin now in place. That being true now more than ever.

"Jake, that's when we were babies." She huffed while smiling. She wasn't really relaxed but more in control. She didn't have an issue with this being a bedroom. Why would she? It wasn't done in a bed. The issue is the guy behind her and she hates it but understood this is going to take time. She turns around and starts heading down stairs.

"I'll go down stares and wait while you get dressed. I'll make breakfast so we can sit and talk." She smiled when she saw the grin on his face when she talked about food. _It's easy to smile around him. _She is determined to never lose his friendship.

As soon as she was out of Jacobs sight his smile faltered and a sad accepting smile took its place. He realized she wasn't his mate. He wouldn't put her thru what Sam and Leah had. He had to give up on her. He loves her enough to not hurt her like that. He wouldn't put her thru a day-to-day relationship worrying them both at every glance he took. Shaking his head to clear it up a bit he got dressed and headed downstairs.

"Bella, I think you might wanna make extra!"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Bella's POV

"Oof" _my bed feels so good. _I am lying down on my bed trying to think of everything that happened today. "Ok, I gotta get all this new information in order before my head explodes!" I groaned.

"Jacob is a shape shifting wolf. Let's see, vampires exist so there must be an enemy as well huh? It just so happened that the enemy of my ex-boyfriend is my best friend. Yeah, that sounds a little more sane. He was also Alpha ordered not to tell me anything. I went around that and found out myself so now there's no point in him staying away. Hmm, wonder what it'd be like to ride a wolf. Yeah, gotta see about that later. Wolfs' I have no problem with.

"Sam is the alpha of the pack. When Jacob is ready he will be alpha." _Interesting note about Sam he ate a deer in his wolf form when he first phased and didn't know what was going on._ "His beta Jared and his 3rd in command is Paul. Jake says to not let him get to me.

"Imprinting. I don't know how I feel about that. The whole soul mate thing is good and being what ever they need. Not having a choice, bad. It being rare also bad but it doesn't seem like that with this pack.

"The wolfs' hunger. Poor Emily, I'll have to call and see if she needs help preparing for the bon fire tonight. Jake invited me to go meet that pack and their imprints. I'll make sure I go. Maybe they won't be so unforgiving about me dating their enemy if I can fill their stomachs. Long enough for them to get to know me." _just have to think of them as wolfs and I'll be ok._

"The pack mind. All the wolfs' know by now what I know. They also know me a little because of Jacob. I just have to get to know them. I don't know how its gonna go tonight. Jacob hasn't called me to let me know how the whole pack took the news about me.

"That's just the wolf part of the conversation! My poor brain!" I get up and go sit on my windowsill to look out into the forest in front of my house. I see a movement of dark silver in the forest._ Nah, it couldn't be silver. _"But at least it wasn't red." I sigh and ignore the moving color that doesn't belong in the forest. Too much in my mind to take anything else in.

**¡Flashback!**

"OK. That's about as much as I can make without making Billy and you eat only fish for the next week." I said a little more relaxed now that I calmed down. I placed the last plate of bacon on the table.

"Wow Bells, it's like a mini buffet!" He said excitedly as we sat down to eat. He took first bite after making sure my plate was full. I wonder about that until he started eating answering my unspoken question. He eats like he hadn't had anything in day! I just sat there staring at him for a minute. He finally looked up after his first plate was empty grinning from ear to ear making me smile in return.

"Remind me again why you haven't been over here to cook more often?" I'm sure he was just trying to make feel more at ease.

"I'm sorry Jacob. I'll make sure to come over more often." I smiled then took a deep breath. His face turned serious. By knowing me so well he knows I'm getting right down to the point.

"Keep eating Jake while I tell you my side of the story first. It looks like you're starving." He agreed but never took his eyes off me as he ate.

"Well, since the legends are true you know about the Cullens' secret?" He doesn't roll his eyes at my question just nods his head. "It didn't take me long to figure out their secret. You know I've always been observant just like Charlie taught me." He smiles and agrees with a movement of his head again. "By the time I figured it out it was too late I was already fascinated by him. Even after he told me what they were and live on. He even told me that I am his singer. I have the blood that calls to him specifically. Every vampire has a singer. Hardly any of them are strong enough to resist it. Knowing the danger I would put my self thru I still agreed because I thought I knew the person in the vampire. That was my mistake. The day he left with his family he told me the truth. We were in the woods taking a walk. I was just a distraction to him since he couldn't read my mind. He was only with me to challenge himself by not draining me dry. Then he vanished before my eyes." I looked at him more closely as he started growling and stopped eating.

"What do you mean? He just left you in the middle of the forest!? Did he hurt you? Did they? Is that why they left? Where is he? Where did they go? Are they coming back? I'll tear him a part when he does!" With every question he started shaking more and more by the time he yelled his promise he looked like his skin was vibrating. That's when he ran out of the house into the forest behind his house. He was there before I even reached the back door. I ran after him. He must have heard me and didn't want me to get lost looking for him because I found him a few yards into the forest. Pacing from right to left, breathing hard, and still shaking. _He must be trying not to change._

"Jake! Calm down. I'm right here. I'm alive. I'm not dead. I'm not broken. I'm moving on. I want nothing to do with him." I said quietly but with conviction. He calmed down and stopped shaking. Then locked his eyes with mine and walked towards me and stopped. My mind couldn't help but notice he was within reaching distance. I prevented my body from taking that step back it was itching for. Instead I looked right back into his eyes letting him see every ounce of determination in mine to move forward.

"Are you sure you're ok?" He asked quietly. Still not touching, me fist at his side. I simply said.

"I will be."

"Charlie also thought you to stand strong." He relaxed his hands and smiled his signature smile. "Just like that. Come on let's get inside. I'll tell you how stupid it was to follow me out here and everything else."

**¡End Flashback!**

I looked down at my bite mark. I didn't tell Jacob about James or what Edward really did to me. If I had told Jake he would have done everything that he could to keep me in forks until Victoria dies. As for not telling him about Edward.

"I'll tell no one. No body else needs to know." I promised my self. I looked away from the scar and into the forest again. I hugged my knees to my chest and put my cheek on top of my knees. I saw a flash of silver moving again. I knew it wasn't something that someone dropped. Some kind of animal.

"I wonder what it is. Ok, I need to stop talking to myself out load."


End file.
